05 April 2011

Those silly Britons

This is not related to anything. Just so you know.

Did you know that the British still have a system where they call each other Earls and Barons and stuff?

I only notice because I was looking on Wikipedia about typography, then next thing I know, I'm looking at some typographer, saw that he got "Honor Moderations" (however that fits grammatically; it's a term I know nothing about) and then realizing that Oxford is run by the "Right Honorable Lord Patten of Barnes" who apparently is a politician of some sort. He also was Governor of Hong Kong and a Chancellor like, three different times.

I gotta move to Britain. Move over "Dean", I want to be a Lord of Barnes, or however that works. So weird! Everything still sounds so imperial and pompous even after they don't own anything, or get to declare any manifestoes or anything impressive. They don't even have the biggest Navy in the world any more. How sad is that?

No frilly ruffs, no spice trades, no conquerors or explorers or anything for the Queen or whatever in the world. It's funny to think now, but the British used to be like, feared. Now they're kind of humoured (see what I did there) because apparently they don't like our jokes about the Revolution. We only use it because we can't think of anything else you've done, guys. No offense or anything.

The best part about this picture is its irrefutable accuracy.


  1. I always wanted to be referred to as "Esquire"

  2. You're automatically an esquire, dude. That's the default :)

    "The British used to be like, feared. Now they're kind of humoured". Yep, anybody needs lessons on how to cope with feeling like that, in a couple decades we'll be to go-to guys ;)

  3. You know you can buy a 'lord of the manor' title for about $20. It's legit (not "cash for honours" scandal stuff), coz all the old manorial titles were abrogated way back when.

    Esquire was an honorific that meant you either own land outright or hold some position of note in society (military officer, doctor, lawyer, etc).
    The modern usage (anyone who owns a shop or business, or has a bank account) sucks. :(

    It's funny to think now, but the British used to be like, feared.

    Yeah, we were proper bloodthirsty back in the day. Lopped the heads off our own kings if they annoyed us; shot admirals if they killed insufficient Frenchmen; fought wars just to stave off boredom! Good times.

  4. Yeah, you can buy a title for pennies nowadays, so feel free.

  5. I might just have to buy a title. I think that'd look good on my resume. Never was aware that was even an option- it seems somehow less proper than getting one granted by some Duke or something.