Here's a sample of its output:
This is an average cleaver, decorated with a triangular horse. It turns towards goblins. It detects lies.This is a small axe, decorated with a gaudy human face. It is made entirely of earth. It will never dull.This is an average shield, decorated with a gleaming wings. It vibrates subtly. It glows when the command word is spoken.
There are a couple of categories that are just the tiniest bit bare, so I'll be coming back to this and adding more as it occurs to me. But it's fully usable now as it is, so click on it a few times, offer me some feedback, and enjoy!